22 ways to control anxiety
Tick the box of the ones you think would help you. Then go back to them and work at them.
These skills, once you have picked them up, can have a quick effect on your stress. They can give you a sense that you now have a weapon with which to fight the stress.
1. Deal with problems on the spot
Don't bottle up your feelings. They will just grow until they erupt. So if there are problems at, e.g. work, make sure that you deal with them on the spot.
2. Strong, confiding relationships
Anxiety often makes us hard to live with. This can cause problems with those close to us. But we know that strong relationships can help fight anxiety. So if there is a problem here, get to work on it.
3. Slow down
Don't do things at 100 miles an hour. Eat, walk and drive more slowly. If you don't get as much done as you would like then it is no big deal. There is always another day.
4. One thing at a time
Think of someone at work cradling a phone between his shoulder blade and ear. With one hand, he writes a letter and, with the other, searches through some papers. At the same time, he tries to grab a quick snack. He is overloading the system. If you make a phone call, make only the call and nothing else. The message: is don't keep too many balls in the air at the one time.
5. Must's and Should's
"I must see my mum today"; "I should offer to run the football team this year". Work out what you can cope with and be happy with this - "If I get through all the things I want to at home, I'll take a run down to my mums. If not, I'll see her through the week"; "I don't get a chance to relax as it is so it's daft to take on more pressure - someone else can take a turn"
6. Coping with ruts
If you feel your life is in a rut just now - same old routine day in and day out - then think about change. Plan your week-ends - do something different - go for a drive, visit friends, go for a long walk. Take up new hobbies. Look for challenges. If you can afford it, plan the odd week-end away. A change of scenery can help.
7. Divide problems up
If you face a huge problem and can see no way to cope with it, see if you can divide it up into 'bite sized' bits. Then tackle the bits one at a time.
8. Past experience
If you are in a jam, ask yourself if you have been in a similar jam before. How did you deal with it? If what you did worked, try it again. If it didn't, learn from your mistakes.
9. Eating
There may be a link between what you eat and how you feel. But it is hard to say just what the link is. There is still a lot to learn here. But I can suggest:
Over the long term, try to eat more healthy foods - get away from fried and fatty food. Cut down on salt. Eat more fruit, veg and whole-wheat bread. Don't eat too much.
10. Look and sound relaxed
Other people will pick up how you are feeling by seeing your 'body language'. So try to look calm, e.g. don't sit on the edge of your seat, slow down your speech, relax your shoulders, don't fidget. Ask those close to you how you act when you are tense so that you know what changes to make. You will feel better if you know that, on the outside at least, you look calm.
11. Don't accept other people's targets
Do people expect too much of you? If you feel they do, confront this. Have a quiet word and try to sort this out. If you can't agree, say 'NO'.
12. Smoking
Some people find that smoking helps them relax. But smoking kills. It also floods the body with nicotine. This may feed stress. Try to stop. Think about joining a free NHS Stop Smoking course. Ask your GP about this.
13. Situations beyond your control
There are things in life that you can't change - people get ill, people die, people lose jobs. Bad things happen so learn to accept them. Stop hitting your head off a brick wall unless you think the wall can come down.
14. Build relaxation into your life
Put aside some time each day just for you. Go out for a walk, phone a friend, do the garden, read a book, watch TV, listen to music.
15. Prioritise
If you do have a busy life, you must decide what has to be done and what can wait. Put these in some order. Number 1 has to be done first thing, number 2 by 12 o'clock..........number 10 can wait till the end of the week. Keep revising your list.
16. Do the worst thing first
If you have a list of things to do, do the one you least want to do first. Once you get it out of the way, the rest of the tasks will seem easier to cope with. If you keep putting it off, it will prey on your mind and may seem a lot worse than it really is. Tie this in with your priority list above.
17. Don't try to be Superman or WonderWoman
Do you try to do it all? Cope all the time? Be the best? Why? The house and your job will still be there long after you are gone. Stick to your good points and learn to live with your faults. Don't try to be perfect. None of us is.
18. Confide in others
Seek out those you can trust and let them know how you feel. They may be able to see ways out of problems that you have not thought about. In any case, it will help to get things off your chest. It may also help you feel less isolated.
19. Other people's shoes
If you have a problem, think how you would react if a friend came to you with that same problem. What advice would you give them? Would that advice work for you?
20. Keep a structure to each day
You might find that stress invades most areas in your life. Try to put up barricades to stop it. It will help a lot if you keep a routine in your life even if you don't feel like it:
- If you go to the football at the weekend, keep going
- If you visit your mother's house during the week, keep going
- If you go to the bingo twice a week, keep going
- As work is a big part of our week, try to keep going to it if you can.
If you are not at work, make sure you have a structure to each day. Try to get up early. Get washed and dressed straight away. Eat a breakfast. Try to get out the house (go for the paper). Eat at the usual times. Try to see people. Go to bed at a reasonable hour.
21. Tablets
Always discuss this with your GP. If you want to fight stress without pills, then that is fine. You might want to combine pills with self-help. Your GP might give you diazepam (valium) but usually for a few days only. You may take a beta-blocker such as Inderal and Propranolol. Your doctor may suggest you take anti-depressants. If you want to know more about these kinds of pills, ask us for a handout about them (or get it from our website). But pills on their own may not get you far 'pills don't teach you skills'.
22. Kiss it goodbye
An office worker who spends most of the day in front of her computer told me this one. At the end of the day, she switches it off, kisses the screen and says "see you soon Fred" (her computer's name). This lets her leave her work with 'Fred' and lets her relax at night.
