Control your angry thoughts
Know yourself
Tune into yourself, and to the way you think when you are angry. Think about what has made you angry, and why. Often we just react without giving it any thought. Part of anger control is knowing yourself and what makes you tick. Ask those close to you what they think.
Know others
Think about things from someone else's view. Put yourself in their shoes. How do they see it? Anger is often caused by crossed wires. If you can learn to see things from someone else's view, it will help you not to get so wound up.
Change your own views
Anger can be caused by the way you view things. Try to see things from a new angle. 'Step back' in yourself and look at things from a distance, as though you were on the outside.
- is your view of things the right one? How do you know this is true? What would a friend think of the same event?
- try to think about what there is to support your view of the event being the right one. Now try to think about what there is to support your friend's view of the event being the right one. On balance, which is more likely to be true? Can you now see things from a new angle?
Trying to see things from a new angle can take practice. But with time you will get better at it, and be able to not take things to heart so much.
Change your self talk
Changing your self talk can help you to control your anger better. Try to change the way you talk to yourself inside before, during and after you get angry. Below are listed some things that you can try saying to yourself inside. These are just ideas. Try to add some of your own.
Before
I can handle this! I'm not going to take this to heart. I know how to control my anger. I'm not going to argue. I don't need to. It won't do any good. Inside I'm stronger. I can stay in control. Stay chilled. Just laugh off this crap. No point in getting upset.
During
Keep the head. No use in going mad. Walk away. Rise above this. Don't make too much out of this. He's got no self-control, I do. What's the point in fighting? Being angry will just get others angry too. I'm not going to get pushed around, but I'm not going nuts either
After
1. when it was a bad outcome - Forget it. It's over. Who cares? Did it mean that much anyway? It'll take me time to get better at handling stuff like that.
2. when it was a good outcome - I handled that one pretty well. It could have been a lot worse. I could have got a lot more angry there. It's better for me not to get so raging.
