Control the things you do when you are angry
Change aggression
Aggression causes harm and pushes others away. Anger control is about being calm and firm in solving problems. Being able to let people know about your angry feelings is a key skill. The first part of anger control will help you slow down the whole process of getting angry. You can now think more about the best thing to do if you get angry.
- Ask yourself if you do this how will this help you? Will it do you any good? If so, how?
- What about the costs? Will doing this be bad for you at all? How?
Practice makes perfect here. Practice trying to keep calm and in control when you are angry. Soon you will be good at taking the best course of action for you, and not just steaming in. Choose to do things in a new way. People will respect you more if you don't lose the plot every time you get angry. Being angry all the time pushes people away and can make it hard for others to like you. Most people will be impressed if you deal with things in a calm way and don't use violence to get your own way. If you do this most people will see you as a bully and will want to avoid you like the plague.
Don't avoid
If you get angry and then do nothing, this can have a bad effect on you too. Over time, you may start to get angry with yourself. This could lead you to feel low and depressed. Try to express how you feel there and then. Be calm and direct when you do this. Don't shy away from being angry. You feel anger for a reason. Expressing how you feel and not bottling it up will help you feel better in the long run.
Use common sense
Here are some simple steps which will help you to relax more and feel less stress.
Drugs, fags, booze, caffeine
These are short term fixes. They may block things out for a time, but they make anger or stress worse long term. When you have any of these in your system you are also more likely to lose your temper. It will help you to try to keep to only small levels of any of these things.
Diet and how active you are
Keep active, drink more water, and try to stick to a healthy diet. This can help your body cope better with stress, and make you less likely to get angry.
Dealing with stresses at home and work
If stress is a problem for you, try to find a way of making changes. You can find out more about dealing with stress in other areas on the site.
Change the things you do!
Think about the times when you are more likely to get angry. Think about where you are. Who you are with. When it is. What you are doing. Try to write some of these things down in the box below. There is an example to help.
