STEPS

Where do I start? It's everything. I'm uptight most of the day, my confidence is through the floor. I can't concentrate. I fly off the handle for the least wee thing. I worry night and day. I can't sleep. I panic like mad. My head's bursting and all I want to do is hide away from the world. And that's just for starters

I just can't cope. I meet people in the street and they all say how well I look. I know I look fine on the outside but it is a different story on the inside. It takes all my time to get myself through the day. This stress rules my life

I don't know if I am normal any more. I'm always asking 'Would normal people feel like this'. I feel so overwhelmed by the world now. I try to keep my head above water but I expect a big wave to break over me at any minute. I used to be so organised. Now I live in a state of chaos half the time

I won't answer the door until I keek through the spy-hole first to see who it is. My friend has to ring the bell a certain number of times so I know it is her. And I've got caller ID on the phone so I can decide if I pick it up when it rings

If I've done well and praise myself, it is like there is a wee voice in my head that says "and who do you think you are?". I can't take a compliment even if I know the person means it. I think "If only you knew what I am really like". I tear such strips off myself. I would not talk to any other person in the world in the way I talk to myself

I just go along with people all the time. I can disagree with everything someone tells me yet all I do is nod my head and don't say a word against it. I want to put over my own views yet I can't. I can't stand up for myself at all

I know we all worry about our kids but I'm well beyond the pale. Neil is going to Spain with a load of his pals next week and I've already got him dead and buried. I imagine him drinking too much and falling off a balcony, see him in a plane crash, see him in a car crash, getting stabbed in a fight. Then I get on to him and tell him to be careful. I know I'm driving him round the bend

I won't commit myself to anything as I can't be sure how I will be on the day. So I feel I go from day to day instead of planning my life

I make a lot of stupid mistakes at work now. It's ten times worse if the job is boring. I have been pulled up once by the boss. She has said that I don't seem to be as on the ball as usual. She's dead right

My get up and go has got up and gone

I blame myself all the time. If the children haven't liked being at the baths then it's my fault. If my wife is in a bad mood then it's my fault. I get things so out of proportion. I'm like a coiled spring. I'm so rigid now. I can't bend with the wind

I feel I am just a pure moan. I'm telling you, I'm like a bear with a sore head. I feel so self-centred and that's not like me. I don't trust people much now. I'm waiting for them to let me down or take advantage of me. I can fall out with people over nothing. If I can't find a parking place, it's the end of the world. The glass is always half empty these days

I can't make a decision to save myself. It is OK if there are no options but when I have to choose, I get in a right sweat. Even daft things like should I wear my coat today, should I phone him just now. Things everyone else can do without thinking. Then if I do make a decision, I worry if I have done the right thing. I can't seem to let things go

I used to stroll through life - I could cope with anything life could throw at me. These days, I always feel run down. I'm never firing on all cylinders. I was never one for the doctors. Now I'm never away from the place.

I feel I can't do anything right. Before all of this, it was water off a duck's back. But now I dwell on everything and take everything to heart. I so want to just stop thinking. There are always things in my mind that annoy me and they shouldn't annoy me. But my brain never stops. It wears me out

If the wee one has a tantrum in the shops or if he plays me up at home, I can't just accept that this is what kids do. I say no-one else's child acts like this - I say that I am no use as a mother

I can't concentrate - I don't pick up the story in any film I watch. I used to be a great reader. Now, I get to the end of a page in my book and have to go straight back to the start. I had to phone the wife last week to tell me my PIN number. I've had the same one for years and years but my mind just went blank at the machine

I hate having to talk to anyone because I've got so much emotion inside me. I can burst into tears for no reason. It is worse at work - I am so insecure, I keep waiting to be found out yet I know that most people think quite highly of me. It's crazy but I can't stop it.

I want to have sex but I can't if you know what I mean. I find myself going to bed after my wife is asleep. She burst into tears the other night - she felt that I didn't want her. She was even worried that there was someone else. I don't know how to tell her the way I feel

I wonder where my old self has gone. Most days are not too bad but nothing feels right these days. Stress makes me feel so vulnerable. I often want to curl up into a ball to protect myself. I feel that people are judging me all the time, that I'm not doing well in their eyes

I often just get in the car and drive alone for ages and though I dearly love my wife and kids, I often get this desperate urge to pack my bags and keep driving as far away as I can

I'm fine as long as I don't see blood. I go all dizzy and I've passed out before. I hate to get a jag and I don't go to the dentist in case I have to get one

My main fear is that I will see someone throw up. I know that no-one would like to see this but, in my case, it goes far beyond this. I know that I stay away from places where I think this might happen - like in a pub or in the city centre late at night etc. How would I cope if I got pregnant and had kids

As soon as ER or a show like that comes on the TV, I'm out the room. At other times, I can watch but have the remote in my hand so that I can flick it over as soon as I think I might see blood or guts. I have to get my wife to deal with all the kid's cuts and bruises - I feel so faint, I can't look near them

My main fear is being stuck in a lift. I would go into panic and start to scream. For some reason, I think I might attack anyone in with me. I am afraid that I might wet myself. I would want to die

I couldn't cope any more at work and my doctor signed me off. That helped - no doubt about it - but it has become part of the problem itself now. The longer I am off, the worse I know it will be to get back. I feel that while I would like to get back into a routine again, I am worried that I go back and can't cope again. It's a Catch 22

I'm scared that big dogs will go for me. I'm sure they know that I'm afraid of them. I often get a taxi straight to my door so I don't have to walk past a house where there is a dog

I was quite a devout person. My religion meant a lot to me but I find myself full of doubts in a way that I have never done in the past. I don't have any certainty in my life any more. I do feel that I am drifting

I thought I had a bowel problem and so did my doctor. But tests at the Western were all fine. They said that stress might be the cause. When I am outside like on a bus or in the shops, I often get this need to empty my bowels quick. I don't get much warning. I think it is stress myself as I don't have the problem when I am near a toilet. I think it is the fear of not getting to one in time. I've found myself having to chap a woman's door so that I can use her toilet. It's not easy for a grown man to do that

I can't pee when I have to use a public toilet. If I am in the pub and there is even one person at a urinal, I just can't get started even if I'm bursting. If I am there on my own and a guy comes in at just the wrong time, it is the same thing. My mates take the piss out of me, if that's the right expression. I've stopped going out due to it

I hate where I live. We've got these junkies up the stair. I hate them but the Housing say we can't get a move. I'm up and down to the window all day long at every noise in the street to see who is coming into the close. I should be able to just get on with it

I hate to see my boyfriend talking to a good looking girl. And if they are laughing, I feel like dying. I feel like this even if he talks to my best friend. I go off my head at him as soon as we get out. If he goes for a night out, I bombard him with questions. I try to catch him out. I check his clothes. I go through his wallet. I even check the numbers on his mobile. I know he is sick to death of it but I can't stop. I don't know why he stays

I sit and watch the children in Africa dying because they haven't got any food. I see people caught up in wars not of their making and I think what the hell do I have to worry about compared to them. But it doesn't work that way. I don't understand it but I know I am no attention seeker. If a good toe up the backside worked, I would be first in line but it's not that simple