STEPS

I saw a coffin on TV last night in a film and I thought 'what if I die? How would my baby cope if I was dead?' I was in floods of tears. How daft can you get?

I go on and on at my husband to tell me that I look OK if we are out. I do it so much, he gets angry. Yet I still ask. But it's better when he is there. When I pick the wee one up at school on my own, I make sure I don't get there till the bell rings so I don't have to talk to the other parents waiting at the gate.

I couldn't cope any more at work and my doctor signed me off. That helped - no doubt about it - but it has become part of the problem itself now. The longer I am off, the worse I know it will be to get back. I feel that while I would like to get back into a routine again, I am worried that I go back and can't cope again. It's a Catch 22.

I want to have sex but I can't if you know what I mean. I find myself going to bed after my wife is asleep. She burst into tears the other night - she felt that I didn't want her. She was even worried that there was someone else. I don't know how to tell her the way I feel.

Since the divorce, things have been hard. My ex-husband has caused a lot of problems and the kids seem to blame me for the split. Money is tight. I come home from work and have all the meals, washing and ironing to do. I don't like to bother my family as they have their own problems but I never get a break. There is no one there for me now.

We're waiting for big changes at work. I'm not sure if I will have a job this time next year. Since the last round of cuts, we have to work much harder and the bosses are always getting on at us. It's not nice around here these days.

The house is too cramped for us but we just can't get out. My partner has to work all the overtime he can get to keep our heads above water so I don't get to see him much. I just feel I go from day to day. It's not much of a life.

Being pregnant was OK but afterwards things got worse. My hormones went haywire. I felt like I had been knocked over by a bus. I was tired every minute of every day. I got low and weepy on the third day like they said I would, but the low feelings never really went away. I found becoming a mum so difficult. I felt like I could do nothing right. I felt guilty the whole time, that I was a crap mother and I was letting my baby down. I feel that everybody is judging me. My in-laws don't listen to what I say - when I tell them what the health visitor says I should do - they scoff at me. I can't win.

I didn't enjoy being pregnant. I got bloated and fat. My boobs were enormous. I felt ugly. I went off sex, and this caused real problems with my boyfriend who left me. He didn't understand me at all. I didn't want to do any of the things I have always enjoyed. My friends dropped me like a stone - I was no fun any more. I felt so guilty every time I went near a pub. I would have the odd drink or cigarette, but people would stare at me. People kept talking about how exciting having a baby was going to be. I didn't feel excited at all. I just felt low. I feel so alone.

I thought it would be great, being a dad. But things got difficult between us. She was very moody. She wouldn't talk to me. All she could think about was being pregnant and the baby. The birth of our baby was a real high and I thought I would get my wife back. But this didn't happen. The baby took over everything. Day and night, all my wife would focus on was the baby. I felt frozen out and alone. I began to feel angry towards our baby, and that scared me a little. My work began to suffer. Having no sleep didn't help. I began to feel low all the time. I was irritable, tired. I took no fun out of my life. I couldn't spend time around any of my family without getting annoyed and angry.

I had waited so long to get pregnant I thought it would be the happiest time of my life - but I didn't like it. I felt like there was this little alien inside me, taking over my body and my life. It's a scary thought carrying around a life inside you. The birth went on for over 24 hours and I was really, really knackered - eventually they had to use forceps. It took so much longer to get on with things because I was so sore. I look at my baby and he doesn't look like me or my husband. I don't know what to do with him. I am really worried that I might harm my baby. At times I think my baby would be better off with me not there. I have even thought about doing myself in.

My dad died six weeks ago. He had cancer for 18 months. Now, I can't get the picture of him at his worst out of my mind. He was pale, very thin and not able to sit up. I wish I could remember him as he was when he was well 2 years ago, but I can't. I feel so guilty. I wish I could have done more.

My mum died last year; she had Alzheimer's for years. By the end she was just a shell. It was so sad seeing her there in the hospital bed. There didn't seem to be anything I could do to get through to her. She seemed so far away, so lost. She didn't recognise me or anyone else she knew before. It was awful to see that happen to someone you love. Once she was dead - and I feel really guilty for saying this - I actually felt quite glad that she was away. The last few years have been such a strain on me. In a way I felt really relieved.

I lost my wife six months ago. We were married for 45 years. She was only ill for a short time. I don't seem to be able to cope with it. I keep thinking she'll walk through the door. I sometimes think she is still around me.

My husband was killed in a car crash this year. I am left on my own to bring up the 2 kids. I feel so lonely. I don't sleep. At times I feel cross with him for leaving me to cope on my own.

I saw the car coming towards me. The next thing I know I'm sitting at the side of the road looking at the wreck of my car. There is blood all over me. How I'm still here I don't know. It's like a bad dream

My first thought was surprise - I gave him my money but then he stabbed me. I felt the pain and I saw my shirt turn red. I thought he was going to do it again. I thought 'This is it. I'm going to die'. Yet I felt pretty numb about this - you know - detached from it all. Like it was happening to someone else. It was only after I got patched up and got home that I went to pieces. I was in floods of tears and I felt so helpless and scared. I'm getting worse each day.

My house was gutted. The fire destroyed the lot. Thank God we all got out safe but I will never forget waking up, smelling the smoke. I prayed that the twins were OK. Even now, I keep on saying 'What if ...' and thinking about what might have happened

I was just about to lock up the shop when they grabbed me. I wouldn't let go the money but they kicked and punched me. They were screaming at me that they would kill me. I have never been so scared in all my life. I don't know why they ran off. I was so angry after it. I didn't give in and I kept the money but I'm a nervous wreck now

I've never seen anyone die before so when that old man keeled over next to me in the bus, I went to pieces. He just died right in front of me. I screamed and puked my guts up. Then I think I passed out. I keep seeing him in my mind's eye. I'm scared to go to sleep as I have nightmares about it. In truth, I'm drinking to try to forget it