STEPS

I feel drawn to the edge and feel as if something is pulling me over it (even though I know this is not true). From time to time, I can see myself like I am right on the edge when I'm no where near it

The kids love using that lift - it scares the life out of me. My heart starts to jump in my chest and I feel like I will throw up. My chest and my guts feel dead tight.

I can cope better when I look out and all I can see is the sky. It's when I look down and see how high off the ground I am - my head pure spins. Sometimes I think I can feel the building sway in the wind. It freaks me out. My dad tells me this is rubbish but I think it does

I hate the sight of blood. I can cope with small spots but anything more and I think I am going to faint. I haven't fainted since I was at school but I am scared it will happen again. I try to keep out of the way of anything major but I can't go on like this. The other nurses must think I'm an idiot

What if something happens to a mate of mine and I pass out. How embarrassing. I'd be useless. I'd never be able to forget it!

I'm fine as long as I don't see blood. I go all dizzy and I've passed out before. I hate to get a jag and I don't go to the dentist in case I have to get one.

I am OK as long as I don't have to think about going out. If I just grab my coat and go, I'll be fine. If I have a day to wait before I have to go out, I will be in a bad way and, more often than not, think up some excuse for not going

When I want to go out, I have to look out the front window to see if there is anyone in the street. If there is, I'll wait until they have gone. It's not that I don't like them - it's the fear that I would have to stop and talk to them. I just feel that I would end up making a fool of myself

If Asda is quiet and as long as Ian stays by my side then I won't be too bad. If I have to stand in a queue at the checkout, I think all sorts of things - I won't get my messages into the bags, the girl will see how bad I look. What if she says something to me about it - I would panic and faint or run out the shop - I know I would make an awful fool of myself. But, you know, some days I can do it without much trouble but I don't know why that is

I can't travel by train or on a bus though, on the whole, I am OK in my car. But I can't have anyone else drive me. I am sure it is because I've got control in my car. If I want to stop, I stop. I can't do that on a train but I dread getting stuck in a traffic jam

If we go to the pictures, I will only sit in the end seat near the door. So if I have to get out, I can get out without too much fuss. And another thing, I have a bottle of water on me all the time when I'm out. I hate my mouth going dry but I won't go over the door unless I have it in my coat

I'm OK if I can see an escape route. So I'm all right waiting to get my hair cut as I can walk out. But when I'm stuck in the barbers seat, I'm trapped and then my stress rockets. I feel so detached from the real world at times. I feel like I'm walking on cotton wool or feel that there is a kind of glass screen between me and the world

My main fear is being stuck in a lift. I would go into panic and start to scream. For some reason, I think I might attack anyone in with me. I am afraid that I might wet myself. I would want to die.

I get all mixed up when I am talking. I hate to phone like an office as I fear I'll say the wrong thing. I think they will think I'm stupid. Even when I am waiting for them to pick up the phone, I rehearse what I am going to say. I can't seem to take things as they come any more

I blush like mad. It's worse if I have to talk to someone I don't know all that well. I start to feel my neck and throat getting hot and I know it will look blotchy. I try to stop the person seeing it so I will put my hand over the worst bit. I never tie my hair back so it can hide my face. Soon my face will be pure red - I will start to act like an idiot. I don't go anywhere now so I don't have to talk

I can teach a big class and cope fine. I know what is expected of me and I know what is expected of the class. The rules are clear. Yet, in the staff room, these rules don't apply and I don't cope well with the social side at school now. It's as if I'm two different people - one confident, the other, an awkward, nervous wreck making a fool of herself

If I have to go out to eat, my big fears are that I won't be able to keep the chat going or that I will say or do something daft. I fear I will choke on my food and I avoid food which is hard to swallow. I'm scared I'll spill my drink because my hand is shaking. I'm so busy thinking about this, I can't listen to what the other person is saying

If I'm in the bank, I'm so tense in case I'm asked to sign a form. Or if I have to hold out my hand to get change back in a shop, I'll start shaking and think everyone will see. When I get tense, I often seem to see myself as if I was in the others person's shoes. And I'm making a right hash of things.

If I walk down the street or I'm in a club, I think people look at me. I think they are thinking that I'm ugly or stupid or weird or that I don't fit in here. I think they are looking down on me. This makes me so aware of myself. And it then affects the way I walk as I'm so tense. My whole face freezes and that affects the way I talk. And if two people are talking nearby, I'm worried that they are talking about me

I go on and on at my husband to tell me that I look OK if we are out. I do it so much, he gets angry. Yet I still ask. But it's better when he is there. When I pick the wee one up at school on my own, I make sure I don't get there till the bell rings so I don't have to talk to the other parents waiting at the gate"

In any social situation, I felt fear. I would be anxious before I even left the house, and it would escalate as I got closer to a college class, a party, or whatever. I would feel sick at my stomach?it almost felt like I had the flu. My heart would pound, my palms would get sweaty, and I would get this feeling of being removed from myself and from everybody else.

When I would walk into a room full of people, I'd turn red and it would feel like everybody's eyes were on me. I was embarrassed to stand off in a corner by myself, but I couldn't think of anything to say to anybody. It was humiliating. I felt so clumsy, I couldn't wait to get out.

I couldn't go on dates, and for a while I couldn't even go to class. My last year of college I had to come home for a term. I felt like such a failure.

My main fear is that I will see someone throw up. I know that no-one would like to see this but, in my case, it goes far beyond this. I know that I stay away from places where I think this might happen - like in a pub or in the city centre late at night etc. How would I cope if I got pregnant and had kids?